more than meets the eye
by melinda08
Summary: Its been a few weeks since Sophia died, and everyone went on with their lives, not taking the time to check in on Carol. But Daryl has had enough, and he manages to remind them, Carol, and himself what being alive is all about. Caryl short story
1. Chapter 1

It was just two weeks after Sophia had died, or more accurately, had been found (she'd obviously been dead before they found her) and although Daryl tried to keep an eye on Carol, he was growing frustrated. She hadn't said much to anyone. Sure, after a few days, she'd started doing chores again, but didn't talk to anyone, not even him. Even though eye contact really wasn't his thing, he tried to catch her attention, but it was as if she were lost in a world all to herself. Even though Sophia wasn't his, and really, Carol was not more than someone he was living around now, Daryl still couldn't help but lose sleep over the whole thing.

He was getting to go on a run with Rick, when Lori approached them. "Daryl...wait," she grabbed his arm, and he pulled back. "What?"

"It's Carol...she was supposed to help do laundry. She wasn't around to make breakfast and I was wondering-we were wondering- if you knew..."

He looked at her long and hard. "Is that all she is to you all? Some housemaid, living to cook and clean? Damn it, her kid's dead. What the hell do you all want from her?"

Rick faced Daryl. "Look, I'm sure Lori didn't mean it like that. Come to think of it, I haven't seen much of Carol around...the women, they're worried, that's all."

Daryl spat on the ground. "If you all so worried about her, why don't you try talking to her yourselves, instead of coming through me? I ain't her husband. Then again, she had a husband...what good were you all to her, then, anyways?" As he started to pace, Lori looked at her husband, pleading with him to calm Daryl down.

"Daryl, come on, it ain't like that..."Rick started.

Daryl got in Rick's face. "What is it, then? What the hell do you know about Carol? You sure didn't know where you left Sophia, and how'd that work out for you? Oh, you're fine. You got your happy little family...but that little girl was the only person in the world who ever loved Carol...and you expect her to wash your dirty underwear man? Come on, that ain't cool and you know it!" he yelled, not knowing where the anger was coming from.

But like a spigot, once the anger had been turned on, it all just seemed to come pouring out. "And you," he glared at Lori. "Where have you been all this time Carol's been all alone, crying herself to sleep? I know you hear her...we all do. Did it ever occur to you to stop thinking about your problems, just for once? Maybe she needs someone to talk to once in a while. Maybe she ain't got half the men in camp acting idiots over her, but does that mean she don't count? Does it?"

Lori shook her head. "I know..we all know, how much time you put into finding Sophia. We all thank you for it. I am sure Carol is thankful for it..."

"Don't you be telling me about Carol! What do you know about her anyhow? Do you know how long it started before that asshole husband of hers started beating her? Do you know Sophia's birthday? Well...do you?"

"Rick, I can't deal with this...you can't let him talk to me like this..."

"What, what you want your husband to do? We all know how you are to him. You whisper your sweet nothins in his ear at night, but when he does make a decision, who cuts off his balls in front of everyone? You know what I think...I think you love the fighting these dudes are doing over you. And you know what...it's going to get more of us killed, you just watch." Daryl spat on the ground, not even trying to hide his disgust.

"Daryl..." Rick took a deep breath. "You're not thinking straight. It's understandable. This whole thing on Sophia, it's taken its toll on all of us..."

"Yeah. I guess so. I might have a better time believin' that you were losing sleep over this, cept for the fact that Sophia wouldn't have even gone missin' if it weren't for you!"

By this time, everyone had gathered around, not daring to say anything.

"Daryl, my husband is not to blame for this..." Lori protested.

"You..you claim to know your husband...well answer me this. Would he have left your boy in the woods, all scared and all by himself? Well...would he have?" Daryl yelled.

Neither Lori nor Rick could speak up.

So Dale decided to put his two cents in. "Now, Daryl, you can't be putting all this on Rick. That's just not fair, and I think you're smart enough to realize it..."

Daryl, more pissed than ever, turned to stare down Dale. "What'd you say to me, old man?"

"Daryl..."

"The hell with you. The hell with all of you! You so sure of how Rick and Lori are...tell me, Dale..." Daryl couldn't hide his disgust in his voice any longer. "You sure were right there, comforting Andrea when she lost her sister. But tell me this...when was the last time you looked in on Carol...when any of you looked in on her? Her damn daughter's dead, and all you all...yes, every damn one of you...been so caught up in your own shit, that you forget a little girl died. A child. Most of you sit around feeling sorry for yourselves over the stupidest shit. Oh, which man should I choose today?" Daryl looked at Lori. Then he turned to Andrea. "I want to play with the big boys so bad that I forgot how to be a friend...a friend to a woman who's lost more than any of ya'll will ever know. You all think Carol is just good for cleaning and cooking, and when she ain't there to do your dirty work, you all start pitching a bitch fit. Well ….what makes you all better than Ed? Any of you got something to say to me?" Daryl stared them all down, daring them to challenge him.

"Fuck this. I'm out of here. You all can do your own dirty laundry. There's a lady out there who's all alone. But you keep your little pity parties. I ain't joining you, not today."

With that, Daryl wandered off, and he wouldn't return until he found Carol. After what had just happened, he knew more than ever that while he let Sophia down in the worst way, he wouldn't let her mother down again. He owed it to both Sophia and to Carol, and in his own way, to himself, to make

this right.

All his life, everyone gave up on him, dismissed him like he was a nobody, a nothin'. He knew- he didn't know how- but he just knew that Carol had been treated the same way too. Hell, even Merle had probably given up on him by now, if he were still around.

For the first time in his life, he would do something for someone else, with no motive or expectation in return. It was the right thing to do, and he would find her. He didn't know what he'd say to her when he did find her, but all he knew was that there was a lady out there, all alone, lost more than anyone...she wouldn't be alone that day, not if he could help it.

Tbc

This will only be a short story, maybe one or two more chapters. I hope you like it.


	2. Chapter 2

As the group watched Daryl leave in a fit of rage, no one said anything. Tensions hadn't run that high among them since, well, since the barn scene. Maybe that day there was no physical damage, but Daryl's words had torn wounds open inside of all them, ones that they'd all been denying or trying to pretend hadn't happened. But there they all were, lost, broken, damaged. Seems as if Daryl wasn't the only one angry that day.

Finally, Dale spoke up. "We can't...we can't let him do this to us, not now. We all know we've been through hell and back tearing up these grounds and beyond looking for that little girl. It's not Rick's fault. It's not."

Andrea glared at him. "Dale...has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, Daryl is right- about all of us?"

Dale started to speak, but Andrea wouldn't have any of it. Not then. "No, Dale. You let me speak my mind. I know you worry about me, and for whatever reason you've taken it upon yourself to be my protector, but you know what that's done? It's made me weak. That's right, I said it. Not letting me have my gun for a long time, not wanting me to learn to step up and be a part of this group, to contribute, to help out in any way other than just watching things that anyone could do...it's not right what you've done to me, Dale. You had your reasons for stopping me at the CDC. I was mad, and I tried to get over it. So here I am. I'm alive. But what good is being alive if you make me doubt my every move, my worth to the group? You remind me all the time how the group doesn't see me as one of them. Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be one of them? That I want to be able to fight and protect and make sure that what happened to Sophia never happens again, not to any of us?"

Dale, visibly shaken, put his hand in the air. "I'm sorry if you...I'm sorry that if by me caring about you and wanting what's best for you even when you aren't able to see it..."

"Stop!" Andrea shouted. "Don't you see...if I'm not one of them, if I'm an outsider- it's because you made me that way! I'm not your wife, Dale. I'm sorry you lost the woman you loved, I really am. But I can't be her. And Daryl was right about another thing- not only haven't I been able to protect you guys, but I haven't been a good friend. To anyone here. I can sit here and blame you for my problems with everyone, but what good would that do? Ultimately, I chose not to look after Sophia, to look after Carol. And maybe, just maybe- the more we look after those of us who are hurting, the more we'll be able to offer not just them but the whole group!"

Hershel spoke up. Maggie looked at him, anxious to hear what he had to say. "For my part, I've also been wrong. About everything, really. The world just...it isn't what it once was, and for that, Rick was right. But I just couldn't- wouldn't- accept that the way we see others has changed. My daughter Maggie reminded me- now, more than ever, we need one another. What good is it to let this large group stay if one of us is hurting? My wife, both of them, really, she always complained I wasn't a good listener- I wasn't sensitive enough, she would say. Maybe she was right. I realize I don't know most of you very well...Rick, we have our differences. Glenn- maybe I was too quick to pass judgment on him. Maybe I'm just a blind, foolish old man who doesn't know what he's talking about..."

"Daddy," Maggie sighed, squeezing his hand.

"No. No. Maybe that Dixon boy, maybe he's a bit rough around the edges. But I do think he's a lot smarter than all of us give him credit for. Maybe he sees things- he can put things in words the way most of us were brought up too polite to say. As you all know, my profession before this, I was an animal doctor. But along the way, I guess I forgot how to care for my fellow man. Or woman, in this case. That young lady is missing her daughter something awful. I love my girls so much- I couldn't imagine...My daughter, she has Glenn, and I thank God for that every day. But who does that young lady out there have? She has no one, and none of us have done anything to make her see any differently."

Maggie, with tears in her eyes, hugged her dad. She'd never been so proud of her daddy than she was right there in that very moment.

Shane cleared his throat. "I know, I know you all hate me, want to make me the bad guy for taking care of that barn. But someone had to. Who was going to step up to the plate and take care of those things in our own backyard? Rick...did you think if you just thought real long and hard they would all go away? Come on man, you can't be that stupid."

"He's not stupid," Lori spoke up softly. "He's not."

"Whatever, Lori. I ain't arguing with you, not now. But what about Daryl's question? Would you-Rick, I'm talking to you- would you have left Carl alone with those walkers even for a second? Would you have? Cause I have to tell you man, I wouldn't have. I don't think Lori would have wanted you to. But you did...hell, you all hate me anyways, so I don't have nothing to lose, right? In your effort to rescue that little girl, you pretty much signed her death certificate. Carl ain't even my kid, just like Sophia wasn't yours, but there's no way in hell I would have turned my back on your son. You think Carol's supposed to just forget what you did to her daughter? And you know what- you all don't have to like what I did, but I did to what Rick wouldn't- what he couldn't do. I found Sophia. So go ahead, make me the bad guy if you want. But now we're not going around putting ourselves in danger every day for something that was right under Rick's nose the whole time."

Everyone looked around, waited for someone, anyone to speak.

"Dale," Shane challenged. "You got something to say now? For someone who always has the answers- here you go. Here's the platform you've been clamoring for."

"I think...I think it's possible that we've all made mistakes. All of us. I'm not looking to crucify Rick here. But a little girl, a quiet, shy little girl who none of us really paid much mind to before- is gone, and I think her death speaks louder than any two words that might have come out of her mouth in her entire lifetime."

"I know..." Rick spoke up. "I also know I've made mistakes. I've let you all down. I let Carol and even worse, I let Sophia down. I'm not proud of that. Time and time and time again, I ask myself, what could I have done differently, should I have given her a gun, should I have carried her on my back, should I have ...I don't know. I really don't. I wanted to keep holding on to hope about Sophia, that somehow bringing her back would give us all hope. I wanted- I needed- something to believe in! If you all feel I was weak, maybe you're right. I just …" Rick started to tear up, and Lori put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know you all look to me for answers, but guess what? I don't have them. But I have learned one thing since meeting you people...it's not just about one or two friends or family members anymore. We're a group. We're a family- every one of us. We have to look out for one another. If one of us is hurting- we all hurt. We all help them carry that load until they can get on their two feet again. What we have, call it a family, call it a group, I don't know what we call ourselves. But we're all we have. We're only strong as the weakest one of us. If one of us is hurting- Daryl's right. We all set aside our problems, our differences, our pride- until we all become strong again. Every one of us counts. Let's not forget that again."

Rick ran his fingers through his hair, then wearily turned to Hershel. "What can we do...what can we do to help you, to keep this farm safe, to help your family, what...what can we do?"

Hershel thought about it. "It's noon. Time to eat. I don't know nor do I care what any of you believe, individually. I think we need to do something that I think most of us have forgotten how to do...before we eat, we bow our heads, and just ..just be grateful for what we do have. Just remember, there's a young woman out there, scared, alone, tired, beaten. She can't see what we can see, that we do have something to be grateful for. We have each other. But that lady, who as that Dixon boy pointed out, who takes the time to cook and clean for us every day without question, what does she have? It's up to us to make sure she knows she's not alone, even if we can't bring that precious little girl of hers back."

Hershel didn't look back, and the rest of the group slowly followed him into the house. It looked like losing Sophia, as horrible and unfair as it had been- wasn't entirely in vain. Rick's wanting to find her had meant to much to all of them. And in some ways, losing her now meant even more. Who knew that the key to their entire group's salvation would come in the form of a shy little girl and her mother, who most of them hadn't paid the time of day to? And Rick vowed to himself to make sure that not one of them forgot Sophia, or Carol, ever again.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

So Daryl, using his tracking skills that had been really put through the paces lately, managed to follow the trail of tiny footprints, and where he found Carol, well, he wasn't much surprised.

There were just a few of them left. Those Cherokee roses, he'd been sure there'd been much more than just a few left last time he and Carol had been out there. But that was a different day. On that day, Carol had found her hope again. Look what good it had done.

He cleared his throat, announcing his presence. She didn't even bother to look up, but she knew it was him. "Go away, Daryl."

"I ain't leaving you," he responded softly, his voice choking up with emotion. He was not a crier- his daddy had beat those days tar out of him- but for some reason, Carol wasn't crying, and all he felt like doing at that moment was just breaking down.

"It's over, Daryl. We found her. Your work is done. I'm not your problem anymore," she sighed sullenly as she started tracing over the petals of a freshly torn rose.

"Did I say you were my problem?"

"She wasn't yours. You were right."

"Carol, damn it!" he started to raise his voice, still angry with the whole group, every last one of them. But this wasn't them. It was Carol. Somehow he knew she deserved more. She deserved better. "Can I sit with you?" he whispered.

She looked at him, surprised. She sniffed. "if you want."

So awkwardly he cleared some brush out of his way, and sat behind her. What he did next caught both of them by surprise.

With the weight of his body leaning against hers, he took his right hand and placed it over hers, keeping her from tearing up any more roses, at least for the moment.

She flinched. The only one in her life who'd ever laid a hand on her, not in anger but out of love, was her daughter. But Daryl didn't love her. He just felt sorry for her- even she could see that.

"Carol..."now his nose became stuffed, and he hated himself for being weak, for not being able to hold it together, for not knowing the right things to say to her. But right now...this was bigger than him, than his past, than what his daddy had ever said about him. "I want you to know...I'm real sorry. For everything."

"You tried. I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with myself."

He thought about it. "You shouldn't be."

Her hands shaking, she still didn't know how to respond to his gesture. "I let her down. I was her mother. I wasn't there in those woods. She was scared, she didn't know where I was. I …." Now she did start breaking down, and he just pulled her in even closer to him.

Now with both of his hands wrapped around her chest, Daryl just held her, said nothing, did nothing as she let out what she needed to let out. "It wasn't your fault. She was a good kid. I didn't know her well, but I know she loved you. She looked at you- I can tell you one thing. I ain't never looked at my parents the way that girl of yours did at you."

She said nothing, but nodded.

Daryl struggled to find the right words. Everything in him- the voices in his head he'd fought on a daily basis all of his life- told him he was weak, that he wasn't a man, that he was soft. God only knew what Merle would say to him if he saw him like that, crying over a little girl who wasn't even his. But as the first tear finally fell down his cheek, none of that mattered, not right then. "She loved you. She wouldn't blame you for that. She was innocent. I don't know much, the others around here, they just think of me as a stupid redneck..."

"You're not stupid. You're not. Don't you ever forget that," Carol responded without hesitation.

"I wish...I wish my mom had been more like you."

"Great. Guess that really throws my chances of any kind of love again in this world out the window, if all everyone sees me as is their mother."

He squeezed her hand. "I didn't mean nothin' by that. I meant...I see you. I see how you cried, heard you every night. I wanted to go to you, to say something...but I just...I just didn't know what to say. But I know the way you looked after her, the way you loved her more than you love yourself..."

"Isn't that what all mothers are supposed to do?" Carol asked, still looking away.

"Hell ya, it is. But not all of them are like you. Some mothers just would have been better off if they were never mothers to begin with," Daryl said without a trace of emotion.

"Why are you here, Daryl? Why does it matter to you...not one of the group has bothered to ask me how I've been doing. Not one. The way they look at me...Lori, she's just so glad it didn't happen to Carl that she can barely stand to look at me. Rick- he never once came up to me and told me he was sorry. I know he meant well by trying to find her, but just once, if he'd have told me he was sorry..."

No one spoke for a few minutes. "I'm sorry, Carol. You deserve...you deserve more."

"Just go back to the group, Daryl. They need you. You earned your place. Rick counts on you to watch out, for runs, to bring food. You have a purpose. What is my purpose? Sophia was my purpose. But now..."

"You stop that! You matter, damn it! I know those people...they ain't been treating you right. I see it. They all do, now. But does it matter? You are still someone. You will always be Sophia's mother. That has to count for somethin. You have to keep going, to not let anyone forget how...how she was. I don't know the answers, but I know you can do something for that little girl of yours now. You keep going. I ain't stupid- it won't be easy."

She turned around and faced him, and actually had a small smile on her face. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me! You once asked me why I did it, why I bust my ass every day looking for your little girl. Maybe this sounds dumb...but I been thinking about it. A lot. Everyone in my life knew how my parents treated me. Merle, he did, but he went and joined the army and he forgot about me. My teachers knew, but they just – I don't know. They all knew. Guess I kind of figured that I didn't matter to anyone. No one said any different to me."

"You matter, Daryl. You matter to me."

The tension between them rose, and he looked away, unsure of himself. Then she spoke up. "You mattered to my little girl. She was you. She was the child you were trying so hard to fight for when no one else would. You wanted to save her because you know...deep down- you know that every child is worth fighting for, no matter who their parents are."

He looked up and let go of his hand so he could stop his nose from running. He wasn't full out crying, but his eyes were definitely moist at this point. Carol- she could cry when she needed to, say things that no one else could, she wore her heart on her sleeve- and it was then that he realized one thing.

"There just ain't enough Carols in this world."

"And you're one of a kind. I'm glad you're you," she smiled.

Then she squeezed his other hand, signaling for him that it was okay to let go of her now, that she would be okay, somehow.

"you go on back to the farm, Daryl. I'll be there in a few minutes. There's just a few more things I have to take care of."

He stood up and looked at her carefully. "You sure?"

She wiped her eyes, still smiling. "I'm sure."

He nodded, then left her alone to do what she needed to be done.

He went back to the farm, washed his hands and sat down with the others. His dinner was cold, but he couldn't care less at the moment.

Just then, Carol walked in. And they all turned to look at her. Behind her ear, standing out, she'd planted a small Cherokee rose. None of them would know what that meant. But Daryl did, and it kind of made him feel good.

"Carol...I like your flower. You look real pretty," Andrea smiled as she reached for a chair to make room for Carol.

Carol said nothing. Instead she started helping herself to what was left of the food, and at that moment, not a single person looked at Carol with pity.

TBC- One final chapter


	4. Chapter 4

No one said much while they ate, but ever so often Carol would look up to see someone looking at her. Finally, after years of being self-conscious thanks to Ed's constant abuse, she wondered aloud.

"I'm sorry- do I have sauce on my face? Ed, he never would take me out to eat. He was always afraid I would make a mess of myself and embarrass him. I guess manners really weren't my thing.." she wiped her face then stood to go wash up.

Lori looked at Rick and nodded. Then he spoke. "Carol, your face is fine. Join us- I mean, we'd love it if you would sit and just...I don't know..."

"We love your company, that's what he's saying," Lori smiled. "He never was good with the sweet talk."

Carol looked around nervously. "I'm afraid I don't understand...there are dishes to be done. Hershel's been so kind to us, so the least we should do is..."

"Sit," Hershel smiled. "The dishes will keep."

"I'll do the dishes," Andrea chimed in. Lori looked at her in shock. Never once had Andrea offered to do any of the housework, let alone the dishes.

"What's going on?" Carol asked. "I just don't understand..."

"You don't understand why we're being so kind to you," Rick offered.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that...I wasn't trying to offend anyone..."

"Carol, I'm not Ed. You don't have to apologize for anything, let alone for something you clearly didn't do."

Carol looked around, saw that everyone was smiling at her, and she was more confused than ever.

She made eye contact with Daryl, who just winked a bit, only enough for her to notice, and he nodded his head.

"Carol..." Rick took a deep breath. "I wanted to tell you...I think we all need to say some things to you, things that should have been said a long time ago. It's my fault, and for that, I'm sorry."

"Rick, really, I'm fine..."

"No, you're not. And that's my fault. Because of me, because of my failure to think in the heat of the moment, for my failure to consider everything- your feelings, Sophia's needs and feelings-I hurt you. I might as well have...I just wanted to let you know I was wrong. I tried, but that's no excuse. Because of me, your little girl...she didn't deserve what happened to her. She was so brave, so strong- and now I see it's because she wanted to be like her mommy the whole time," Rick smiled.

Carol didn't say anything. She started to cry, but tried to wipe away her tears.

Andrea took her hand. "It's okay if you cry."

"No. It makes me weak, it makes us all..."

"Carol, listen to me. It's okay if you cry. You've been through so much, and I haven't- I don't think any of us have taken the time to really know you, to understand you, to appreciate you. What you've been through- when Amy died, I didn't want to go on. It was the end of my world at that time. But Amy had lived life. Not much, but certainly more than Sophia, your beautiful little girl ever had. What you two have been through- it certainly helps put my problems in perspective. I don't know how you get out of bed every morning, how you make sure every one of us has clean clothes, something to eat. I couldn't do it," Andrea didn't even look away at Carol. She wanted Carol to know just how sorry she was, how they all were.

"That's kind of you to say," Carol nodded.

"No. It's not kind," Andrea continued. "It's the right thing to do. We haven't been good at doing the right thing, not for a long time. We've been so worried about those...those creatures, that we've forgotten how to be human. I haven't taken the time to get to know you. I know...I know I talk about being brave, how I want to help out, how I want to take out the walkers. But you know what- your kind of bravery-I don't know if any of us really has it."

Carol said nothing. Her lip quivering, she just continued to nod and listen.

Andrea went on. "I know...I know I don't cry. But you know what- you go ahead and cry, get it out of your system. Do what you have to to heal. I would give anything to be able to cry, to be able to let myself feel again. I don't think there's a day in this world that any of us haven't wanted to cry. We just...we're scared, that's all."

"I think you're brave, too," Carl joined the discussion. "I know Sophia, she was great. She was my friend. She was really my only friend most of the time. She wasn't telling me what to do all the time- I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. She just wanted to play. She wanted to be friends. I don't know if my mom and dad are going to have a boy or a girl, but if it's a girl- I want my sister to be just like Sophia."

Carol really tried hard to stop the tears, but there wasn't any wiping of her face that could mask how she was feeling. "Thank you, Carl. I know she liked having you as a friend."

Lori patted Carl on the head affectionately, then turned her attentions to Carol. "This isn't easy for me to say. But how I've treated you- I've been...I haven't been very nice to you, not at all."

"You've been fine, Lori. We all understand. You thought you lost your husband, and with Carl..."

"That's just it!" Lori exclaimed. "I got my husband back. I didn't really want to face the thought of being alone, so I..." she didn't say Shane's name at that point, but they all knew what Lori had done. "I was too scared to handle my losses. But then..." now she was starting to cry, too. "The biggest miracle of all happened. Rick came back. My son hadn't lost his father. I could have my family back. I thought of no one else's feelings but my own. The only time I talked to you was when I needed you to watch Carl so I could go..."She looked at Shane, then went back to Carol. "Anyways, I realized I was scared. What happened to you with Sophia- I was so scared. I thought if it could happen to you, then it could happen to me. And I couldn't think straight. It was all about me. I never once stopped to let myself put myself in your shoes. The thought was too much for me to handle, so I avoided you rather than treating you how I would have wanted to be treated. I'm so sorry, Carol." She put her hand over her mouth, now fully sobbing. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

Rick pulled her close to him. "It's okay. It's okay."

By that point there was barely a dry eye in the house. Maggie let go of Glenn's hand. "Carol..." Maggie started. "I realize, I realize I don't really know you. I never got to know your little girl. I felt bad for you, I didn't know what I could do. I have been hiding behind Glenn. Don't get me wrong, baby," she looked at him. "I love you more than you can know. I sometimes close my eyes at night and let myself think, what the future will be like for us. Will we get married, have babies, what those babies would look like..."She didn't look at Hershel. "But Glenn, I forgot. I forgot that Sophia was someone's baby. She ….I never felt so bad in my life than I did at that barn..."

"It's okay, Maggie," Hershel calmed her. "It's best we not speak of that day, not right now. We need to try to help Sophia's mother remember her little girl the way she knew her, the way she loved her, the way Sophia deserves to be remembered. Tell us, Carol...what was your little girl's favorite color?"

Carol looked up to the ceiling and smiled. An honest genuine smile. "Purple. She loved purple. I had always told her so many fairy tales about princes and princesses, that royalty loved purple. I told her that she'd grow up one day and turn into a princess and that she'd find her prince..."

Even Daryl had to smile at that point.

"When was her birthday?" Lori asked. "I hope we're not hurting you. You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to..."

"I do!" Carol exclaimed. " June 18th. That was her birthday. I want to think of Sophia the way I knew her, not what we all saw that day. From the moment I found out I was expecting to the very end...Sophia and I were close. She was the only reason I got out of bed every day of her life. She loved to play. She was quiet- her dad didn't exactly like a lot of noise around the house. But when Ed was gone- either off drinking or attempting to work or whatever he was doing- Sophia and I would go to her room. She'd bring out her dollhouse. We'd play. Here I was, a grown woman playing Barbie dolls...but you know what? I loved it. I loved every minute I had with her. We'd have tea parties. I'd bake her cookies and I wouldn't save any for Ed," Carol laughed. "She was so beautiful. I loved her so much. She was a good girl," she sniffed.

The room grew quiet, not out of discomfort, but because they were all reliving happy memories of the way their lives were before...before. When they all were able to play, either as kids or with their kids. Or with the kids they wanted to have, or would have. Whatever it was, it was a beautiful moment that no one wanted to break.

Hershel watched the group carefully. He noticed Daryl hadn't said anything, but he was decidedly happier than he was before the argument. "Carol...might I have a word with you in the kitchen, please?"

Carol, still smiling, nodded and she followed him.

He touched the flower which she still wore behind her ear. "You know how flowers come to be, don't you?"

"I guess. I never really had much of a green thumb."

"Dirt. It takes dirt. You take something so small, the seed, so small.." he reiterated, "that most people wouldn't even notice. You have to dig around the soil, get real good and dirty. You take that seed, now muddy and dirty and not even visible to the naked eye...but you believe in it. You water it. You feed it. You help it grow and you trust that it grows, even if you don't see results right away. Then one day, after the cold, hard winter has faded, and the skies are turning blue again, and you can feel the sunlight on your face...you just might wake up and see that little seed, that little tiny seed had turned into the most beautiful flower you'll ever see in your life."

Carol smiled. "That's lovely."

Hershel took her hand. "I told you that for a reason. Think about it. Think of something special- maybe someone special- you have in your life right now. You don't have to tell me who it is, what it is. You just think of that someone or something that you do have that makes you feel good, even if it's just for a second of the day. You take that thought, that seed, you hold on to it. You water it. You pay it attention. You don't' smother it, you just give it room to grow and blossom. Then, one day, before you know it and God willing and the timing's right- you'll see that little tiny something you hold on to now has become the most beautiful flower that you had ever seen. Just think about it." He smiled, squeezed her hand, then returned to the group.

It took Carol a second to think about what Hershel could have possibly meant. Only one image came to her mind. Daryl. Daryl made her feel good, even on her worst days. Did Hershel mean...was he trying to tell her that if she held on long enough, just got through her darkest time...and then one day...

No. She couldn't let herself think about that, not now. It seemed to hard to fathom that what she and Daryl had shared, their journey over the past few weeks could ever bring something wonderful into her life.

But that night as she got ready for bed, she looked at that wilted flower that she'd put behind her ear that day, and she thought of Daryl.

And for the first time in the longest time, she slept well that night. She didn't even cry herself to sleep.

She would always, always love Sophia.

She would never forget her.

Maybe nothing would ever happen between her and Daryl. It seemed kind of selfish yet kind of nice to think about at the same time.

But there was that seed, and as long as she had that...who knew what the future might hold?

She closed her eyes again, and instead of going to do laundry or cook or anything, she went back to sleep. No one said anything to her, and she didn't apologize for it either.

She would have to return to her duties, and she would, probably later in the day. But for now, she had a place to sleep, a blanket, her memories of Sophia- and maybe, just maybe, a little bit more.

The end


End file.
